Greetings once again, loyal fans! Like Odysseus braving the high seas to achieve an Ithaca homecoming (spoiler alert for the non-Homerians), I have made my triumphant return to the pages of the Entertainment Guide after a brief hiatus that no doubt had southern Minnesota in shambles and ceaselessly praying that the Korner would revive itself. (Unless, ofcourse, you didn’t notice that I’ve been absent, which is completely cool.) So come one, come all as I once again explore the exciting and warmly welcomed world of late-spring, early-summer (sprummer) entertainment buzz!
The calendar’s signaling of May’s arrival is Hollywood’s cue to cook up an assortment of palatable cinematic cuisine . . . or, given that not all blockbusters are created equal, occasionally slap together a disorganized fast food mishmash. (Ahem, Michael Bay movies, ahem.)
Unofficially kicking off the summer movie season is Thunderbolts*, which hopes to fall into the former camp of that brilliant film-food analogy. Marvel Studios’ latest attempt at relevance sees an ensemble of previously introduced characters unite as an anti-hero squad recruited by the United States to accomplish a secret task. Secret governmental superhuman contracting programs, am I right? Featuring an impressive cast, a yet-to-be-explained asterisk in the title, and what looks to be a refreshingly new spin on the Marvel genre, Thunderbolts* strikes theaters on May 2.
Continuing the whole “Earth is in imminent danger” schtick, Tom Cruise performs one final death-flirting, insanity-affirming, adrenaline-overloading cinematic stunt as Ethan Hunt in Mission: Impossible – The Final Reckoning – which, let’s admit it, is likely using the word “final” rather liberally. 
Cruise and director Christopher McQuarrie culminate the two-film climax that began in 2023’s Dead Reckoning (not-so-subtly the inspiration for this installment’s subtitle) with more screen-encompassing set pieces, mildly creepy CIA face masks, and pressure from Paramount to financially break even! So, strap on your parachute and calm any potential motion sickness when M:I-8, my Must-See Movie of the Month (MSMM), blasts into theaters on May 23. We’ll see if Cruise is able to accomplish . . . whatever it is he’s trying to accomplish! (The titular “mission” is often rather complex.)
Also taking advantage of the coveted Memorial Day weekend slot is, you guessed it, a Disney flick. A young
Hawaiian orphan and a physically deformed alien become, acronym-istically, BFFs, in Lilo & Stitch. If this premise rings a bell, you haven’t ingested more than your daily dose of vitamins – it’s one of Bobby Iger’s beloved “live-action reimaginings”, or fanciful Disneyspeak for ”animated movies that aren’t animated anymore”. So, boys and girls, you get to see Stitch in non-2d form! And worry not, he still sounds like an overcaffeinated Fozzie Bear impersonating a hyena. Check out the eponymous duo utilize the power of family and friendship to conquer wacky obstacles when Lilo & Stitch goes zany on May 23.
Juxtaposing the high-energy realm of blockbuster cinema with dare I say a gentler and posher form of art (not to flaunt my obviously unparalleled sophistication), the iconic trio of St. Olaf music ensembles will be performing their annual commencement concert to accompany college graduation on May 23. The Band, Choir, and Orchestra will quash any tabloid-esque rumors of any rivalry and unite in song at Skoglund Auditorium, chanting “Um Yah Yah!” as each group bids farewell to its seniors while looking ahead to what next year’s freshmen will have in store. (One thing’s for sure: the newcomers had better possess at least a semi-secure taste in Norwegian war tunes.)
To celebrate Manitou Heights’ rich history of trumpets, clarinets, and whatever classy instrument you fancy, I will be delving into long-honored traditions and tales of the St. Olaf Band on Trek Through Time this month, and it’ll be double the fun with a two-part installment! First, I’ll chat with local history aficionados Susan Hvistendahl and Jeff Sauve regarding their path to writing the first in-depth biography of the 133-year-old Band (which, to score extra points with my publisher, is available for purchase at By All Means Graphics), followed in the next episode by a discussion with Dr. Timothy Mahr, the maestro who conducted Oles for 29 years and left an indelible mark on the musical institution. So, to gain my widely sought-after approval, tune into KYMN Radio to catch Triple T’s vintage voyages, and subscribe on Spotify for bonus video content, because why not?
As surely as juniors become seniors, May flowers are here, and so is an abundance of enthusiasm immersing the graduating youngsters. (“Youngsters”? How old am I?) And while those whippersnappers are prepared to seize the day, there’s nothing stopping you from exclaiming “carpe diem” yourself, no matter your age (babbling infants aside). With populaces as vibrant and supportive as those in southern Minnesota, the horizon is overflowing with opportunities. What could you do to better your community?
To suggest a topic, send a helpful comment, or provide a hot entertainment tip, email the Kid Kritic via planetwhizkid@gmail.com. To avoid incessant lecturing and pretentious criticism, accurate punctuation is encouraged in the message.
